Anything...

I just finished reading Anything - the prayer that unlocked my God and my Soul, by Jennie Allen.  The basic summary is that Jennie and her husband, Zac, prayed that God would use them for anything.  That he would use anything they had or anything they did for his glory.  It is an amazing, inspiring and challenging book.  As I read it, I realized that this is the next step for me spiritually.
Praying anything is a scary thing.  Anything isn't always happy and cheerful.  It is usually hard, and reckless.  But, if I believe God is who he says he is and that he is in control, then I need to give him anything he wants, because after all, he's the one who gave it to me in the first place and he can take it away any time he wants, no matter how tightly I try to hold onto it.
Here is what I think that God has revealed to me.
First of all, the scariest anything for me to pray wasn't about my husband or my kids.  Yes, it would be indescribably hard to deal with the loss of any of them, but growing up having lost my mom at a young age, this was something I've always braced myself for.  It wasn't the scariest.  The scariest, was my own life.  When my mom died, I was seven.  She was a believer.  I am confident that she is in Heaven.  Many of my family members were not believers, including my dad.  Because of my mom's death, my dad and many others (probably more than I know because of the ripple affect) have come to know Jesus.  I have often said I think that if Jesus had given my mom a choice to continue living on this Earth with my dad continuing to be an non-bliever, that she would have chosen death to save him.   As I thought of that, I realized that was my anything.  That was the prayer that would be hardest for me to pray, that God would take my life if it meant saving someone I love.  But I did it.  I asked God to use my life, it whatever way he needs to, for his glory.   That includes my role as a wife and mom.  That includes my time, my talents, my treasures.  That includes my house, my cars, my safety in America.  That includes my pride, my envy, my desire to have control and my fear.

That's a big prayer.

God is moving.  I have seen him more tangibly in the last week than I can count.  He is present, by my side, laughing with me as I am seeing him more and more.  If you've seen the movie Rise of Guardians (which is totally pagan), there is a scene where the little boy finally can see Jack Frost and all of the things he's been doing.  That's the way I feel about God.  I can finally see him.  I have been following him for years, but I can finally see him.

Here is what I believe God is calling me, us, to.  (Andy hasn't read this book yet, so he still looks at me a little like I'm crazy when I start talking about all of this stuff.  But he will, and when he does, look out!!!)

1.  Service in this new ministry at church.  To connect people to the body of Christ to better serve him and his kingdom work.

2.  Through this ministry, I believe God will connect us to someone that will lead us into our next adventure.  I believe this will include ministry over seas, short term or long term, I don't know.

3.  This blog.  He has been prompting me to keep a journal.  I am going to use this blog as a more efficient way to track all the ways he's moving in my life and use it as a map to guide me along the path he sets before me.  Especially when the evil one tries to distract or confuse me.

4.  My kids.  They are still my mission field and I am working to help them see God in everything and using the Bible and scripture as our rule book.

5.  Some other more fuzzy things include adoption, moving, and nutrition.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.