Frustrations and Anger

Romans 3:23 (NIV)
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

All have sinned, and will continue to sin until the end of their time on Earth.  I am no exception.  Neither are you.

Last night at dinner, I got frustrated with my son.  I took out my frustration on him.  I sinned in my frustration.  Then, it built.  I knew what I had done was wrong, but he hadn't apologized and so I continued to stew in my frustration.  I knew I needed to apologize for the way I acted toward him, and that he needed to apologize for his behavior as well.

I didn't get to it before bed time and so I went to bed angry.  The Bible says, in Ephesians 4:26 "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil at foothold."  Even though I knew this, I went to bed anyway.

I woke up still tired and still crabby, big surprise.  I went through my morning routine and finally when I went to wake the kids up, I took the time to apologize to my son.  I apologized for my behavior and then was quick to scold him for his as well.  He apologized quickly and then looked up at me with his beautiful eyes and said, "it's ok Mom, I forgive you."  He's such a good boy.

There, I did what I was supposed to.  Now, I should feel better right?  This gray cloud over my head will go away right?  Not so much.  The fall out from my choice stuck with me all day.  Which was a bummer because I spent the day in a meeting about this new ministry I'm going to be involved in at church.

We spent the day working through some of our ideas on how best to connect the regular attendees of our church in ways that will help them to grow spiritually.  We are looking to connect with those attendees that slip in and slip out each week.  Our ideas are grand and exciting to think about.  But then when we start talking about the practicality and implementation of it all my crabby cloud settled in above my head.

Part of preparing to serve our church in this way had us looking through some research about the people in our church.  There was some data from a survey that asked people about where they are in their spiritual growth and the activities they participated in to continue in that growth.  I was amazed at how low the numbers were in the areas of reading scripture and spending time in solitude with God.  Both of those things I try to do daily.  The other thing that was on there that struck a chord with me was regularly confessing your sins to God.

Like it says in Romans, ALL are sinners and we ALL fall short of the glory of God.  That includes me.  When I fall short, I need to remember to ask God to forgive me, and I need to do it regularly, because I know that I sin regularly.  I have felt closer to God than ever the last few days, which made the separation I felt last night and today even worse.  I don't want to be separated, I want to be close to God.

Hebrews 10:22
let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for being angry with my son.  Please forgive me for holding onto that anger and letting it fester.  I am thankful for your saving grace.  Please give me the strength and patience I need to face each day.  Help me to be the wife and mother my family deserves.  Please guide the team I am working with and me as we develop this new ministry to bring you glory.


Romans 3:23-24 (NIV)
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, AND are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus, for your amazing grace and sacrifice on my behalf.